Just An Ordinary Day

I went up to the yard on Saturday and the horses had to stay in, as the rain hadn't stopped so the grazing was too wet for the horses to go on. 
I wanted to ride Barnaby so I didn't want to give him any breakfast first.  I brought my tack down from the tack room and then got Barnaby's head collar so I could put it on him and tie him up in the stable.  Unfortunately he had other ideas and came barging out of the stable.  At first I held him but he just set off trotting along the walkway until I couldn't stand it any longer and had to let go.  He cantered down to the field gate and I was terrified he'd try to jump it, but luckily he buried himself in the bottom of it.  I went down to try to catch him but he shot past me, then went for a little trotting session round the YO's lawn.  Oh, my, flipping GOD! 
Next he went the other way and ended up round the back of the muck heap, but came charging back down to the field gate.  Haylie was there and appeared, having stuck Frankie in his stable (whose eyes were on stalks at all the excitement!) and we both stood with our arms out and managed to catch hold of the leadrope. 
I dragged Barnaby back into the stable, tied him up and slammed the door shut!  How embarrassing is that?  We've only been here a couple of weeks, they'll be telling us we have to move on at this rate!  Stupid horse.
I tacked him up and rode down to the kennels, as I'd been for a walk the day before to suss out how the bridle way works that's further up and found it makes a brilliant loop back to the kennels. 
So we set off and it all went swimmingly.  What took me ages to walk up with the bike on Friday took only seconds to trot up on Saturday.  Unfortunately the big metal gate on the left was closed so I had to make my way across the farm yard then round a sticking out metal gate to try to open the little wooden gate a bit further up.  Barnaby managed to get round the metal gate but slammed my leg into it.  It was absolute agony.  I collapsed onto his neck trying not to scream/cry and get my breath back.  Barnaby was rearing and trying to turn round in this tiny space.  Finally I managed to open the little wooden gate and make my way through. 
The rest of the ride after that was brilliant, and I will try to go that way again, but the pain in my leg is unbelievable and I still had to go to work in the afternoon. 
John seems to have finally twigged that I really do need his help with riding Barnaby.  You can give Barnaby a day off and think that you've done him a favour, but really he could be ridden every day and not be bothered.  He's more like a dog that needs his daily exercise. 
So John cycled to the yard on Sunday morning while I had a lay-in (bliss).  He rode Barnaby a long way (going through the gate again to make sure Barnaby did it properly this time) came back, turned him out, mucked out, poo picked and then cycled home. 
By the time he got back he said he was ready to collapse!  But just think:  I do all of the above, and then go to work until 9.30 pm, or I've been to work and then do all that.  It just goes to show, doesn't it?  He said the worst bit by far was the cycling, so I am having an electric bike for Christmas!  How excited am I?
Back soon I'm sure
Jane x

The Saga Continues

I went down to Barnaby's field Monday morning to get him in and noticed he was playing 'high heads' with Fred, in the field next door.  They stopped when they saw me, trying not to look guilty, but as I got closer, Fred couldn't resist it and gently took the front of Barnaby's rug in his teeth and gave it a friendly tug.  Then he bared his teeth and rested his chin on Barnaby's face.  Barnaby sighed contentedly.  Like a total buffoon, I just thought, 'awww, how sweet!' and took Barnaby out for his ride.
On Tuesday morning, unbeknown to me, my phone was on silent.  When I checked it I had two messages, one from the YO and one from John asking me to ring him re: Barnaby.  Trying not to panic I decided to ring John first.  If it's bad news, I'd rather cry in front of him, first.
It turns out that on Monday evening, after John had got Barnaby in and fed him his tea, Steph came and took Fred out past Barnaby to ride him (they are next door neighbours) and Barnaby went ballistic, rearing up in his stable and tearing at his haynet.  They were worried he was going over the stable door.
Then the next morning when Steph went to turn Fred and Marley out, Barnaby went mental again.  They were so worried about him they put him in one of the outside stables to calm him down (thinking about it now I don't know why they didn't just turn him out).
So when I got there last night, there was a bed made for him in the outside stable, next to Cracker, who he also likes.  I think it might work better for him out there as once Cracker and Ty come in, they don't go out again until the morning, so Barnaby should stay calm.   What a flipping saga though, I'm so embarrassed.  Thank goodness he didn't jump over the stable door.  It wouldn't be the first time, would it?  I daren't tell anyone he's actually capable of leaping over. (If you want to know what I'm talking about, read this.)
More soon
Jane x

Waste of a Day!

John saw an advert for a horse for sale and rang up about it yesterday, so we went to see it this morning.  We drive for ages around Derbyshire (still my least favourite county, I wonder why that is?)  until eventually we come to a nursing home and ring the woman up and she comes out to meet us.
The mare (Bella) is standing on the yard, with her friend next to her.  We go and greet her and get all the sniffing out of the way.  John has a good feel of her legs (never going down that route again) and then we pause.
Nothing happens.
So in the end I ask the woman if we can see her ridden.
"Oh!" she says, "I didn't bring any tack!"
We start to say we'll leave it then and she says something about perhaps we'd like to come back tomorrow.  I am thinking to myself, 'there's no way I'm coming all this way again,' and hoping John is thinking the same when suddenly she says, "My friend's tack is in the back of the car.  I suppose we could try that and see if it fits." And bugger me if it wasn't a perfect fit!
So then, John gets on the mare, with her friend going ballistic, and sets off up the drive on her.  I pray and pray and pray.  And God says nothing, which I find quite disconcerting.  The woman has brought the gelding down to watch the mare go, but he broncs and gallops back off up to the stables.  'Struth!
Eventually John comes back and looks quite okay on her.  I am trying to see if the mare is dishing but she is swerving from side to side on the track so it's hard to tell.  Then suddenly the horse goes mental, backwards, forwards, sideways, up to the fence, trying to take John's leg off, broncing, all four feet off the floor, until in the end I get hold of her and lead her in.
Eventually we are back on the yard and John gets off and we tell the woman we'll go away and think about it.
Oh, my flipping God!

In other news:  We've been to R and R horsey shop and I've been trying on boots.  I have, to my astonishment, ended up with the most beautiful boots I actually went in for, the Ariat Bromont boots.  They are stunning and the most expensive boots I've ever owned, but they were so comfortable.  I can't wait for Christmas now!

Yummy, yummy!

I've been for a fab hack when we got back.  I went down KL road and met a horse coming the other way.  Barnaby suddenly woke up, as if to say, "Blimey, there's another horse there mummy!"  It turned out to be Chloe on Indie.  We stopped for a chin-wag.  Barnaby's quite fond of Indie actually.

Then we carried on into the village and went up G road to the roundabout.  Barnaby was only too willing to go all the way round the roundabout and come back the way we'd gone, but I insisted we carry on past the senior school.  I'd reasoned that, being a Saturday, it would be nice and quiet up there, so we set off at full tilt past the playing field... where there was a hockey match in full flow.  "Smash!" went the ball against the fence, "Hooray!" shouts the crowd at the top of its voice.  Barnaby, bless him, doesn't bat an eyelid.  I am so proud of him.

We came home through the brook, which was slightly deeper than usual, after all the rain, and carried on home.  Superb hack on a superb horse. 

I love you, Bardy bear.

Jane xx

We Are Gone!

Finally, the long awaited day has come and I've ridden Barnaby to his new yard.  I've been so excited it's been like waiting for Christmas.  John and I have spent the preceding days collecting all Barnaby's stuff together and bringing it home and sorting through everything.  I've chucked loads of stuff out actually.
I had to cycle to the new yard and leave my bike there.  I thought I was going to have to walk to the old yard, but John, who owns the farm, offered to give me a lift, which was an absolute godsend.  It gave me time to put a bed down in Barnaby's stable and do his haynets and waters, which was perfect.
I got to the yard about 10am.  Natalie was totally avoiding me, which is really starting to get on my nerves.  All the horses were in and have been for 3 days because of the bad weather.  I do agree it was bad, but you can't keep on keeping horses in like that, it's ridiculous. 
I decided to take Barnaby on a proper hack rather than just ride straight to the new yard, so I rode all the way through the village and came to the yard round the back way.  I've been riding past the new yard for the past few weeks to get Barnaby used to going that way and when we got to the entrance he went straight in.  I got off at the gate and led him through and he was fine.  I put him in his new (vast) stable and untacked him and he went straight down for a roll, which I take as a good sign! 
I popped his turn-out on and led him down to the field.  I knew it would be tricky as we have to go through two grass fields before we get to his paddock and I knew he'd be desperate for the grass, having been kept in for so long.  I just kept his leadrope short, especially when I turned him to shut the gate, as there are sheep in the field and I didn't want them to be able to escape.
He was looking around, taking it all in, new horses to look at and grass as far as the eye can see!  Eventually I got him to his paddock and put him in.  I just unclipped the leadrope so he could go off and explore.  Two other horses came down to meet him and there was a bit of squealing, but nothing major, then Barnaby decided to get on with what he does best and started eating.  Next he had another roll, one of pure pleasure I think, then went back to eating.  I think it was around then that I started crying.  It wasn't with relief that I'd got him there safely, it's just with joy that I am doing the right thing for my boy.  It's been killing me watching him in a stable all day, going mad when he sees me because he wants me to do something and knowing that I am the only person that can make a difference to his life. 
I could see Barnaby was perfectly happy, so I walked back up to the stables, got on my bike and cycled home, thoroughly pleased and content.  I'm so glad you're happy, Barnaby.
Jane x

Last Day

So we did it today, we said goodbye to our wonderful boy.
It was the worst of days.
It was raining.  We arrived at the yard and Barnaby was also in, which I hadn't expected.  I put his rainsheet on and took him out of his stable to say goodbye to Zak.  It was surreal.  They sniffed each other.  I don't know if they knew.   I turned him out and came back and John was giving Zak his last groom.  He said he wanted to put hoof oil on him.  I suddenly understood what the whole of my End of Life Care Course had been about.

We took him slowly out onto the grass.  He was pleased to be outside and munched away on the wet grass.  I just stroked him and stroked him and told him how much I loved him.

Tears were pouring down our faces.  We took his leg bandages off and he continued to munch, with the rain gently falling on his back.  Soon the vet arrived.  He looked as sad as we did.  He explained to us what would happen, how Zak would fall and so on, I'll spare you the details.
And so, the fatal needle went in and we said our goodbyes, to this most precious and gentle of boys.  He fell to the floor and I hugged him, then looked along his body and knew he wasn't there any more.  I said, "I'm done here," and went to see Barnaby for a cuddle.  John stayed with Zak and the vet.
I walked along in the rain and my body was racked with sobs.  To be honest I could have sunk to my knees in the mud and just bawled.  Then I saw the thing I really didn't want to see.  The collection truck was pulling onto the drive.  The driver looked really sad, but I knew he wouldn't know where to go unless I directed him.  I asked if he'd come to collect a horse and he said yes, so I directed him along the track to where Zak lay. 
I turned and continued on my mission to comfort Barnaby.  He was standing eating, curious about the lorry, but calm.  I gave him an apple and buried my face in his neck and sobbed.
After a while and a final hug, I left him and went back to the stables, but realised the lorry was still there and that I must not see, I must NOT see what he was doing, so I ducked through the barn and waited in the stables.  Soon John came as the vet had said to him not to watch, and we just stood and hugged and cried.
Goodbye, my velvet boy.  You were the sweetest thing, and such a good friend to Barnaby.  I am so sad that I will never stroke you again.  You were such a character and my heart aches that I will never see you again.  Goodnight, my love.
No more now.
Jane x

Poor Zak

So we've been having big discussions all weekend about what to do with Zak.  I've been waiting for John to accept how bad the situation is.  He's been saying maybe Zak could go as a field companion, but how could he? 
1.  He won't travel in a lorry, so where would you take him?
2.  He eats so much food he isn't really suitable as a field companion.  Field ornaments are supposed to be cheap to keep.
Then John's been saying we could get on with it and keep Zak on box rest for a year, but the vet says there is no guarantee he would be rideable at the end of it.  I know we did this before but this was four years ago and Zak was a lot younger then.  By the time he came sound this time he'd be 17. 
He isn't the sort of horse that would be content with plodding round a field time after time.
The vet said his good leg is diseased.  This has come as a total shock.  We honestly had no idea.  There is just no guarantee that he'd ever be sound, just a guarantee that at some stage his leg will pack in altogether.  I can't bear to think about it.
God give me strength and give John the ability to face reality.
Jane x

Sad Day

I hacked Barnaby out this morning and we've been back down for John to ride Zak.  I'd been waffling with Jane and didn't realise John was back, quicker than expected, when Jane nudged me to look.  It took a while to sink in, but looking at Zak I could see that he was horribly lame.  He was as lame as when he originally damaged his tendon four years ago.
John said he'd been fine, he was cantering along when Zak suddenly went horrendously lame.  He'd jumped off instantly and walked him back.  Luckily he'd only gone round the farm, so he didn't have far to come home.
We put him in his stable for a while and could see his leg had really swollen up so took him out to hose his leg for a while.  I knew we had to call a vet out.  Jenny came to have a look and she soon agreed.  We phoned Chine House and the vet came in about an hour.  He said basically the tendon had gone.  You could see it was bad.  He put a bandage on it called a Robert Jones, basically, layer upon layer of gamgee and bandages, and Zak hobbled back into his stable.  The vet said he will come on Monday and scan him, so we'll see.  I think it's going to be bad.